I have a major confession to make here: I HATE being in front of the camera. Like almost every woman I know, insecurity is a fierce presence in my life. I look at the above picture and spot 10 things that make my stomach churn. It's ridiculous and unhealthy. Truth be told, I've wanted to have a blog about fashion on a budget for a very long time, but never did it because I didn't want to take pictures of myself. It's uncomfortable and I'm overly critical of everything. But, at some point, I had to slap myself in the face (figuratively, of course) and get over it. Yes, my body is constantly changing; my metabolism is nothing like it used to be and having three children has completely changed my shape. I am healthy, I walk or do some form of exercise at least five days a week, and eat healthy, whole foods (although, my goodness, I'll be happy when the temptation of Easter candy is out of this house!). All in all, I'm okay, but telling that to my head sometimes is a battle.
Why write about this now?
The other night, I was watching The Voice with my daughters and the #IMNOANGEL commercial came on.
We watched it and I said to them that it was a really big deal for this new idea of beauty to be on prime time television. Both of them were baffled as to why these women weren't as pretty as other women or why so many women feel they are less than because they are not rail thin. It was in that moment, like so many moments of my life as a mother, that I realized so much of having kids is seeing the world in a new way.
Do you know what I saw? I saw that I was a hypocrite. I was telling my girls everyday that as long as they ate healthy and took care of themselves, that was what made them beautiful, not their size. I was preaching it, but I wasn't believing it. I was a hypocrite. This is not the first time I've realized this, but it is the first time I'm vowing to love myself, just as I am. Life is too damn short to compare myself to an ideal that is just not attainable in a healthy way for my body or my soul.
So, no more. No more hiding behind the camera, letting my insecurities keep me in the dark. No more hypocrisy. Just love, a whole lot of self love. It's long overdue for many of us.
I've always liked Pink, but this week, I fell pretty hard for her for standing up to the negative comments about her body: Read here
And since we're on the topic of embracing, I'm embracing the ugly. I bought myself a pair of Birkenstocks, but of course, I had to have a little edge and picked out Rose Gold for my feet. Just like I promise to beat these insecurities down, I promise to never, ever wear socks with them. Have a wonderful weekend, my friends and if you have an extra penny or two, J.Crew is having their annual up to 75% off sale. I stocked up on some summer staples for dirt cheap. You're welcome!