Skip to main content

Embracing Oneself


I have a major confession to make here: I HATE being in front of the camera. Like almost every woman I know, insecurity is a fierce presence in my life. I look at the above picture and spot 10 things that make my stomach churn. It's ridiculous and unhealthy. Truth be told, I've wanted to have a blog about fashion on a budget for a very long time, but never did it because I didn't want to take pictures of myself. It's uncomfortable and I'm overly critical of everything. But, at some point, I had to slap myself in the face (figuratively, of course) and get over it. Yes, my body is constantly changing; my metabolism is nothing like it used to be and having three children has completely changed my shape. I am healthy, I walk or do some form of exercise at least five days a week, and eat healthy, whole foods (although, my goodness, I'll be happy when the temptation of Easter candy is out of this house!). All in all, I'm okay, but telling that to my head sometimes is a battle. 
Why write about this now? 
The other night, I was watching The Voice with my daughters and the #IMNOANGEL commercial came on. 
We watched it and I said to them that it was a really big deal for this new idea of beauty to be on prime time television. Both of them were baffled as to why these women weren't as pretty as other women or why so many women feel they are less than because they are not rail thin. It was in that moment, like so many moments of my life as a mother, that I realized so much of having kids is seeing the world in a new way. 
Do you know what I saw? I saw that I was a hypocrite. I was telling my girls everyday that as long as they ate healthy and took care of themselves, that was what made them beautiful, not their size. I was preaching it, but I wasn't believing it. I was a hypocrite. This is not the first time I've realized this, but it is the first time I'm vowing to love myself, just as I am. Life is too damn short to compare myself to an ideal that is just not attainable in a healthy way for my body or my soul. 
So, no more. No more hiding behind the camera, letting my insecurities keep me in the dark. No more hypocrisy. Just love, a whole lot of self love. It's long overdue for many of us. 
I've always liked Pink, but this week, I fell pretty hard for her for standing up to the negative comments about her body: Read here
 And since we're on the topic of embracing, I'm embracing the ugly. I bought myself a pair of Birkenstocks, but of course, I had to have a little edge and picked out Rose Gold for my feet. Just like I promise to beat these insecurities down, I promise to never, ever wear socks with them. Have a wonderful weekend, my friends and if you have an extra penny or two, J.Crew is having their annual up to 75% off sale. I stocked up on some summer staples for dirt cheap. You're welcome!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Big Magic Moment 

I just finished Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Big Magic” and in it she talks about how the universe serves up magic and mystery all the time if we are open to it. In recent months, I’ve had some seriously big magic that made me believe in the mysterious magic of the universe. I have to go back years (okay, decades) to my sophomore year of college. I was stuck in the mire of indecision about my major. Accepted into the well known business school, my path was set but, it was not serving me well. I hated the classes, was bored to tears, and cringed at the thought of sitting at a desk looking at numbers the rest of my life. Numbers have never been my thing, but I had the grades to land a spot in the Accounting major. I slogged through because the prospect of having a job right after graduation was my carrot. My heart, though, was within the pages of books in my literature courses. I had a few of them in my beginning years and I’d pass on the finance homework just to read one more page. I’ve alway…

A Gift in the Gym Locker Room

On Saturday, I completed the balance of my shoulder tattoos. On my right shoulder, I have a morning glory for my paternal grandmother and now on my right shoulder, I have a daisy for my maternal grandmother. Both women meant the world to me and inspired me to be the person I am today. They were both humble, hard working, and hilarious. They guided me through life and they continue to do so in their absence. Having them both on my shoulders is a little reminder for me to forge ahead. 
Every Monday, I head to the gym for a long workout. If I'm being honest, I mainly go so I can sit in the sauna after my workout. This morning, after my 10 minutes of scorching nirvana, I headed back to my locker to get my shower stuff. An older woman stopped me and said, "Oh my goodness, your tattoos are so beautiful." I thanked her and she continued, "I made a promise to myself when I made it to 80, I'd get a tattoo." I smiled and answered the usual questions I get from peopl…

Styling a Family Photo Session Around my Son

A few weeks back, we decided to do a mini session with a photographer. I take a lot of pictures of my kids but it had been almost four years since we had family photos done. We had the pleasure of working with a local photographer, Tracey Westgate. She was lovely, affordable, and we had quite a few laughs. I was both excited and dreading it for one reason, my son will only wear active wear. I'm not kidding. There are no button downs, no nice shirts, only athletic wear. Yes, I could force my child into a shirt, but I'm not that kind of parent. Being my third child, I've learned what battles to fight and to be honest, I don't want a snapshot of what I want him to wear, I want a snapshot of who he is right now.
That being said, there is one "nice" shirt and pants that he decided on wearing and I had to go around that outfit. The shirt was gray, the pants were burgundy. Totally workable.
 Rather than match the kids, we coordinated them. Each of them had a simila…