I’m writing this in a crowded airport heading home after a weekend away from my house, my family, my life. All by myself. I spent the weekend with my oldest friend in her lovely home in Arizona. It was something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time but it never quite worked. But then, I just threw caution to the wind and booked the weekend. It was, easily, the best decision I ever made. Over the past two years, I’ve learned that life can change in an instant. I did not want to have any regrets and I think, in hindsight, my heart knew what I needed.
Saying good-bye was filled with tears. But they weren’t only tears of sadness, but of happiness. I’m so grateful for this friendship, one that stands the test of time and one that makes my stomach hurt from laughter. There is something to be said to finding a person that just understands you without judgement and expectation and takes you just as you are. I’m so lucky to have this in my best friend.
I’m in a state of transition. I’ve left teaching, something I’ve done for a very long time and loved every single minute of. I left because my heart has always longed to follow this writing dream and things are kind of, albeit slowly, falling into place. But, this is hard. Teaching is part of my identity, it is who I am and who I have been for eighteen years. I needed to be reminded of who I was long ago and this girl just did that. She made me remember how crass, sassy, fun, and hopeful I once was as a teenage girl dreaming of becoming a writer. In the shuffle of life and living day to day, I lost that girl. Laughing with my friend, brought all of that back. It’s never died, just lied dormant. We did not live in the past over the weekend, but rather, we reveled in the present and anticipated the future. Reconnecting not only with my friend, but myself, reignited that quiet ember in my heart. It’s tough leaving something secure to try something insecure, but life is too damn short to not at least try. I’d never forgive myself for not trying.
So, to my dear friend. Thank you. Thank you for the past, the present, but most of all, thanks for holding my hand in the future. You are truly a gift. I love you so very much.