The New Year
I'm not one for resolutions, I always end up breaking them and then I feel super bad. Not worth it. However, this year, we decided as a family to pick an overarching goal for 2017. I thought long and hard about this one. I need to be more disciplined in many areas of my life but again, I know myself. What I came up with is this:
In 2017, I will be nicer to myself.
Sounds a bit ridiculous right? Hear me out. Being nicer to myself means many things and touches on many avenues of my life.
For one, I'm kicking self-doubt out of my brain. Every time I doubt myself, I'll remind myself of an accomplishment I am proud of.
Secondly, no more self body shaming. I am who I am and I love myself. I've worked very hard to get to where I am in life and I'm no longer letting unreal expectations filter into my happiness.
Thirdly, I'll listen to myself more. If I need a rest, I'll take it. If I need to drop everything and mop the floor, I'll do it. (Yes, I know, but living with compulsive tendencies sucks.) If I need a walk, I'll take it. If I need to ignore everything and escape into a book, I'll do it.
Fourth, being nice myself also means pushing myself into discomfort. Writing personal essays is not easy, at all. I'm putting myself out there, my issues to be talked about, but I've learned in the last 18 months, my words matter. I cannot tell you the hugs, emails, and letters I've received thanking me for writing what I do. Every time I send something off and it gets published, there is a door of vulnerability that opens. It is very scary but I constantly remind myself there is beauty in being vulnerable. It is quite amazing, actually.
Lastly, I'm learning to say no. I commit to too many things...all the time. I extend myself too far. In 2017, I'll say yes to things that work, no to things that don't. And, I won't feel guilty about either choice. That's the toughest bit for me.
2016 was a difficult year, no matter what way you slice it. However, for me, personally, it was a year of great personal growth. I put myself out there, I made some very hard personal choices for my well-being, I continued to write, continued to be published, and so many exciting things are on the horizon for 2017. I have faith that although things may be seem formidable, we will indeed see good things. It is a great hope of mine that apathy will lessen, action will increase, and those of us who feel unseen and unheard will use our voices to push for change.
My friends, what are your hopes and dreams for 2017? Thanks for your support, now and always.